Walking down the aisle, NEED MAJOR HELP

[pumpkinbeast]

I need help from you ladies who decided to walk down the aisle with your soon-to-be husband, instead of your dad. I would really like to walk down with my fiance. It's not that I -don't- want to walk down with my dad, it's that I think it fits better... entering into the sacrament together and all that. I think it's also in the Canon code for the wedding Mass or something? I hope 1ke still frequents this board, I think she would know... Anyway, I mentioned it to my dad today, and he is NOT pleased... It doesn't help that he thought that I got the idea from my fiance's parents, who are a bit more conservative Catholic that my parents are, and then he thought I got it from the priest who lead our marriage prep class, who is a personal friend of my fiance's parents, and then he thought I got it from how my fiance's parents got married! >.< So I'm having trouble sorting out whether this is about not getting to walk his baby girl down the aisle, or whether he doesn't like my fiance's parents. Probably a bit of both...
Anyway, what I was thinking was having me and my fiance, then my parents, followed by my fiance's parents, and then however the priest fits in, can't remember if he goes first or last, I think last... We're having a meeting with the priest on Saturday, so we can nail down these details in a theologically appropriate manner.

Now, I -know- it's totally fine and theologically fine for the father to escort the bride down the aisle. I know it doesn't have to be about the 'property' thing. But it makes more sense to me somehow to walk with my fiance; he's the one I'm getting into marriage with, the co-communicants of the sacrament(probably the wrong term, but you get what I mean), and all that! I'm not trying to reject my dad or belittle the fact that they have provided for me and raised me and are still are in many ways. But now it looks like I'll either have to go against the grain and perhaps make it an unpleasant day for my dad, or swallow my own feelings and desires and do it the way he expected it. Not to mention there is the money factor... my parents are paying for the wedding stuff. :/ So now it's even more twisted... do it my way, or no more money for you! I don't know that he would do that, but there's always the possibility...

Anyway, I knew it would be a shock and maybe a disappointment, but I wanted to discuss it with him, and if it was something that was really dear to his heart or whatever, then it would be fine... but instead he turned it into belittling my fiance's family! So now I don't know what to do.

[Maria 05]

Well I am probably not the best one to answer this but I will try
First off
Second my spelling is not very good so please ignore any mistakes.

Your post is a little hard to follow but I will try and do my best.
The first thing that popped into my head is why not have them both walk down the alise with you but then if you have a lovely poofy dress that might not work.

There are pros and cons for each idea.
If your father walks you down the ailse you have the suprise of your groom seeing you for the first time as you walk towards him and he can see the angel he is marrying in her beautiful gown and you can squeeze dad's hand tight when your heart gives that little misbeat when you see your groom and its only a few yards.

While it is a lovely idea to have the groom walk you down is it going to cause a major rift between you and your father and is it going to be worth that?
I think from the moment you were placed in your father's arms when you were born he had a vision of walking you down the ailse. He could have responded by belittling the groom/grooms family/priest/next door's neighbours cat because he was hurting and responded in anger. Remember if a long cherished dream is shattered people can rarely articulate calmly and you did say it was a shock. I don't know of any saints except maybe Liza on here and I know that when I get angry I say things I don't mean and instantly regret but it is said.

My advice for what it is worth is sit down with your father and be calm with him. Ask him how much would it mean to him to walk you down to your husband. He might tell you it is his dearest wish or he might tell you that he just thinks it was "tradition" and "ought to be done."
If he is just doing it for traditons sake I am sure he won't mind the groom escorting you down but if it is his dearest wish you will have to make a choice based on that and the question you have to ask is will it open a rift or leave a wound and will you or dad hurt more over the decision.

Take your time and think carefully before you make such a decision but definitely have another talk with your dad.

[lizaanne]

Hello!
My goodness, I didn't think anyone was coming here any more, so glad to see you!

P-beast, I can only tell you my own experience.

I spent the final moments before Mass with daddy in the chapel, it was totally priceless. He then walked me down the aisle, tears in his eyes, and so very happy for me that I had FINALLY found true happiness. When I saw my husband for the first time standing there, waiting for me, it was beyond amazing. My dad shook his hand, then placed my hand in my husband's, and asked him to take care of me.

This moment happens once in a lifetime. Sure, it can happen in some other area of the Church grounds, or at home before the wedding, or in some lovely setting. But doing this in front of all your family and friends, before the altar of Christ's Sacrifice, is something you can't compare.

Now - I know that brides do it many ways, and certainly what you want to do is perfectly acceptable. But for me, personally, I could never imagine not having my daddy walk me down the aisle.

~Liza